Live A Little

I got a call today as I was headed out the door to buy groceries. Purse flung over one shoulder, keys in hand, I doubled back and picked up the phone.

"Caryl?" It was my neighbor, Sherry. "I hate to bring you bad news, but Pam passed away today."

So soon? I fell into a chair, dropping my keys on the table.

We neighbors had organized to take the family food on the days that Pam had chemo. Just two weeks ago my husband and I carried our meal across the street to their house. Pam let us in the front door, showed us where to put everything and then invited us to sit with her in the living room. We chatted for about 30 minutes. She was in good spirits. The tumors were shrinking.

But a week later she seemed disoriented and was taken to the hospital. A spinal tap revealed cancer in the fluid. She went from the hospital to hospice care. We planned to visit her there, but now it was too late.

Sherry promised to call when she knew anything more. After a phone call to my husband, I resumed my trip to the store.

Our local grocery store recently added a Starbucks inside. As a reward for being such a good little shopper, I always get a small...excuse me...TALL coffee. Though I love their mocha frappucinos so much I should marry them, I dutifully get a regular old coffee. Mocha fraps are expensive and fattening.

Pam was heavy on my mind as I checked out with my groceries. I pushed my cart towards Starbucks and realized I wasn't in the mood for coffee today. I headed for the door. And then out of nowhere, I stopped and knew I had to buy a Mocha Frappucino. "What are you saving it for?" I thought.

I got the works: whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top. When the barista handed it to me, I silently toasted Pam. I smiled to myself and vowed to make more of an effort to enjoy however many days I have on this earth. I know from the many talks Pam and I had that if she could, she would say to me, "Life is too short. Live a little!"

I'll miss her.