Tuesday, June 17, 2008

"Just Like My Mom"

Let me run something by you. I've been bumming out over something a man said to me yesterday. I already know that I'm a silly, silly woman for thinking that this matters, but hear me out.

My son and I met a lawyer yesterday who is working with us. We had some pleasant chit-chat while we stood around waiting for something or another (not important). I was feeling kinda cute, wearing these skinny pants, ballerina slippers and a nice fitted top.

The lawyer was handsome and young-ish, probably in his 30's. I was working the cute thing for all it was worth. Not flirting- just doing my best to be charming. I've never been beautiful but can pull off "attractive" if all the planets are in alignment and I've had enough sleep and the person looking at me is very drunk. (haha)

So he wasn't drunk, but I still thought I was coming across as my version of attractive until he asked me what I do. I replied, "I'm a stay-at-home Mom." He nodded, smiled and said, "Just like my Mom."

Ouch. Just like your freakin' Mom, huh? I'm just an old lady Mom. I think what I'm needing from you, dear reader, is a reminder that it's not over just because a woman is in her late forties. Give me a good "Sex and the City" pep-talk, whether you believe it or not. I'm minutes away from putting on sweat pants and sensible shoes. Save me!


Julie said...

Girl, he didn't say you REMIND him of his mom, or look like his mom or anything. Maybe his mom just DIED or something. Maybe he's unable to see his mom very often. Probably the term "stay at home mom" just gave him a flash of this mom he's missing/thinking about/wanting to visit.

I've learned in my uber therapy that to read meaning into statements made by others is dangerous, cause it makes you act and react as if it were true. In this case, his benign statement fed into an "ouch" place in you, and made you react by feeling like he implied you were old. He didn't, you aren't.

Let it go. ;-) You're fabulous and adorable.

caryl said...

Well, you're right. He didn't say I remind him of his Mom, I just took it that way. Guess I'm touchy cuz my little baby just turned 20.

OK, I'm fabulous and adorable. I'm fabulous and adorable. I'm fat and over the hill...wait. I'll work on it!

Anonymous said...

Caryl, it just might mean that his mother was always a stay at home mom. From one homer to another.. don't get upset unless he ask for an apple pie or home baked cookies! ;)

Why are you down on your appearance? You look fine, petite, pretty.. what more can on gal ask for?


Chicken & Waffles said...

Yeah, but the sexiest Mom on the planet, hello!! You get down with your bad self, sister. And tell that lawyer you can eat men like him for breakfast. Without chewing.

You'll note that the other commentators on this post analyzed his remarks and offered you thoughtful, insightful and considerate feedback. I just told you to get on a chair, snap your fingers and stride out of the room shaking what your momma (Lois) gave you because you are so diva fabulous. But what else would you expect from me?

I've met you so I can tell you that you are a gorgeous gal. Who looks 20. So screw you :)

Sorry to use up so much of your blog real estate, but it's funny that happened today. I had a strange incident today that I wanted to blog about but I wasn't sure if I should...I had a meeting with my boss and an internal auditor visiting from our parent company in the UK. My boss and I have worked closely together for 20years. We're good friends, but she has the ability to undermine confidence now and again--maybe not intentionally but she does it at the worst times.

Moments before the auditor shows up, she tells me that she found some pictures of us from ten years ago. Yikes. She shows them to me. Yes, I was definitely a different woman then--but I actually prefer who I am now. She says (and I think she meant this nicely), "Look how young and skinny you were then."

Yes, I need a reminder that I am old and fat now. I still like myself better now, though.


caryl said...

I feel like such a whiney baby and I hate it when other people put themselves down, but what can I say? It was on my mind.

You guys made me feel better and I wish I had your confidence. You guys positively GLOW. That's VERY attractive.

But it looks like I'm having a tough time with this whole aging thing. I can't accept it. But I will learn to because being old and mousey and pathetic is not a look I'm striving for.

To borrow a word from one of our favorite designers, I want to be FIERCE!

Chicken & Waffles said...

Darling, you are FIERCE. I mean it.