My oldest son is really lost these days. Someday I'll get into the details, but simply put, his first attempt at living on his own turned into a nightmare.
He was sharing a house 1200 miles away from us and had only been there a few weeks when two guys with guns came in and demanded money. Jake's roommate was shot in the arm and Jake was hit repeatedly over the head with the butt of a gun. A third roommate jumped out of a second story window and called the police.
Jake's home and safe, but he's struggling to move forward. That's about all I want to say about it at this point, but I'm struggling, too. (Yes, we've seen doctors and I'm sure we'll be seeing more doctors.)
So this Monday, I give you The Fray. "How To Save a Life" is connected with Grey's Anatomy, but it really has nothing to do with hospital doctors. It's all about dealing with troubled teens. It's all about my life.
The Fray - How To Save A Life
Album: How To Save A Life
Year: 2005
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
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I'm Caryl. (Hence the title: "A-Caryling.") This blog is about me and my journey as a writer. Enjoy! Leave a comment here or shoot me an email: carylzimm@aol.com. I'd love to hear from you!
photo by Caryl Zimmerman
photo by Caryl Zimmerman
Welcome!
I'm Caryl. (Hence the title: "A-Caryling.") This blog is about me and my journey as a writer. Enjoy! Leave a comment here or shoot me an email: carylzimm@aol.com. I'd love to hear from you!
Bow Lake, Alberta
photo by Caryl Zimmerman
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Jasper, Alberta
photo by Caryl Zimmerman
7 comments:
Oh, Sweetie, I feel for you, I really do. I'd love to give ya a huge hug. My soon to be 17 year old continues to drive me insane.. literally..LOL.. Hang in there girl! **hugs**
Thanks, tif! It's so hard. Of course my husband and I disagree about how to handle him, so that doesn't help the situation.
Where've you been? I haven't heard from you in a while. good to see ya!
Your husband too? I think it is pretty common.. my husband is too strick in my opinion and goes overboard to where I cave in to often.. Which does add to the stress of the situation at hand.
I've been around, just dealing with some silly ulser! Wonder where I got that from?? LOL.. When this kid of mine grows up and is on her own I'm going to some tropical island and drink margaritas day in and day out..haha.
If it helps at all, my older stepdaughter was a complete terror, pretty much right up to age 19. Now she is 20 and has mellowed considerably. Or maybe it just feels that way because she is away at college 9 months of the year! But no, really, I think she really is getting better. My husband and I are breathing a little easier these days.
Oh, my friend, I could go on for days about the troubles I've seen with my now 22-year-old, much-loved pain in the ass of a son. What a struggle his whole adolescent life was. My nickname, given to me by him and his friends was "Momma Drama" and "BuzzKill." Oh, yeah. I was the mom that invaded every teen-age drinking party I found out about and went on search parties after receiving calls from the principal informing me that she watched my son get off the school bus and then proceed to walk in the opposite direction of the school. I showed up at his friends' houses numerous times after getting that gut feeling that moms get, you know, something is wrong, and found him unable to keep his head from wobbling around on his shoulders and then have to figure out if he needed a cold shower because of too much booze or a stomach pump because of taking drugs. My heart is with you, caryl. Hang in there, don't give up. He needs you. And trust me, it gets better with each passing year. What helped me the most through all those difficult years was talking to other mothers. Believe it, you're not alone; most every family with children is going through the same thing. Talk to them, it helps; you, too, need the support.
And Tif, I'm ready for that island right now!!
Thanks, all of you. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
At least Jake will talk to me. I do the best I can, I mostly just listen and assure him things will get better. But, I'm going back to the therapist for advice and maybe one day he'll go with me. He needs to.
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